The Shows I Hated...

Granted, not every show on this list is one I hated when I watched it. Some of them I actually enjoyed when I was younger. Looking back now I see the folly of my ways.

1) G.I. Joe - Cartoon 1983-1987
G.I. Joe bugged me even as a kid. I grew up with G.I. Joe, and read the Marvel comic when Hasbro relaunched Joe in the 3 3/4 size. I loved the comic. I hated the cartoon.

The problem I had with the cartoon was that it was absurd, even for a cartoon. Not to much in the premises of the episodes (revolving around weather control machines and teleporters). What bugged me was how idiotic both Cobra and G.I. Joe seemed. Often I would see the Joes planning to sneak into a Cobra base, only to be yelling "Yo, Joe!" at the top of their lungs. I could be wrong, but I always thought that sneaking in would involve some degree of silence.

The other thing that really bugged me about the cartoon was Cobra. Here was a terrorist network that would operate secretly... out of a castle in the Himalayas! Furthermore, the recruitment standards for Cobra must be really low. They had the numbers, often times matching the Joes 500 to 1. And they had the firepower, too. Yet, when the Joes (usually only three, with one slingshot and a rock between them), called for a surrender, Cobra did. Let's see... 1500 Cobras armed with jeeps, cannons, lasers, and the ultra secret weapon X (whatever the Hell that was), against 3 Joes, with a slingshot and a rock (just one, mind you). Yeah, I see why Cobra would surrender.

2) X-Men - cartoon 1992-1996
I loved the X-Men comic. I had been reading it since issue 166, only dropping it when they announced the Age of Apocalyse plan. I picked it up again when Morrison announced he was writing it. All that is neither here nor there when it comes to the cartoon series.

I'll give them credit, they tried. And by try, I mean they tried not to ignore 30 plus years of continuity, and would make vague references to it... then do the storyline later in the series run. They contradicted themselves a lot, which bugged me to no end. In the first season, Cable appears as a freedom fighter in Genosha, with backstory suitable for a freedom fighter in Genosha. But later, he shows up as a time-traveler from a future dominated by Apocalypse, with no reference to his days in Genosha, or the established backstory. It was real irritating trying to keep track of what was what. At least the creators of X-Men Evolution got it right when they said, "okay, there's the cartoon continuity, the movie continuity, and our continuity."

3) Enterprise
I used to be a Star Trek fan, much like I used to be a Star Wars fan. Though when it comes to Star Trek, the magic was ruined by the fact that Enterprise was it, and it just wasn't all that good. I could tell that when I watched the first episode and heard lyrics to the theme.

Enterprise faltered on the grounds that instead of going boldly forward where no one has gone before, it backtracks, trying to wedge itself into established (albeit fragmenting as we passed 1997 and no Khan) continuity. So, instead of moving ahead in time (like The Next Generation did), we get to see the Enterprise meet all the alien races that we already knew, and the Xindi, who waged a spectacular attack on Earth, yet are not remembered at all (gotta love trying to retrofit continuity).

4) Firefly
Now, Firefly's a special case. I think that I could have liked Firefly better if Fox had handled the series better. this would have meant for Fox to actually air the episodes in aired IN ORDER! There was a pilot that explained quite a bit. Of course, we didn't see it until after Fox decided to can the series. They went with the third episode in the series for the premiere. It was okay, but there was no set-up. Without the base, there was no explanation to why things were the way they were. The upside is that maybe Sci-Fi can do it justice this summer, and the movie (which actually looks pretty decent) will make it Whedon's Buffy (so-so movie to good series) in reverse.

5) Superfriends
As a kid I loved the Superfriends. Watching it now, it's so irritating. The early Wendy and Marvin episodes (I never liked them) are way too preachy, and the Challenge of the Superfriends episodes or too corny (the Legion of Doom had better escape plans then they did plans to take out the Superfriends).

6) Fastlane
If you don't remember this Fox series by Charlie's Angels director McG, consider yourself lucky. It was not well scripted, and relied on more T&A than late-night Cinemax. The joke about Fastlane was that when it was cancelled, the Playboy channel picked it up and toned down the T&A.